It's Been Good 2013

2013

What a nice year. Actually. It wasn't that bad.

I'm even going to throw this out there: these past 6 months have been EXTRA RAD. 

TIME TO GET PERSONAL: I've probably changed the most this year. The beginning of 2013 was the first time that I actually liked someone! Aside from Aaron Carter and Gordo from Lizzie McGuire, I must admit I had never really liked a boy before. Wowie. 

I knew from the start that I was romanticizing him into someone he clearly wasn't...but it was nice having those feelings for the first time. Dopamine? Yeah, that. In fact, it was the most exciting thing ever. It was HOLY.

 The boy turned out to not be exactly how I pictured - but I will cherish him as my first school girl crush ever. 

 (God - I'm too old for this.)

 2013 was a year of self love. I remember being so anxious in the beginning, latching onto people who didn't necessarily have my best interests in mind. I felt like I became a friend to fill space, to get connections. Getting out of that situation was the best decision and feeling I ever had. It was pure EUPHORIA. Realizing that you can always opt out to do your own thing was brand new to me. 

Being able to be on your own is SO important. I began to learn how to deal with my anxiety, how to stop thinking negatively, and I finally reached out to those friends who were there for me the whole time. If I hadn't of taken that step - I wouldn't want to know the person I would have become. 

One of the best moments was seeing Crystal Castles with my friend Bonnie. You would think being squished against hippies and punk kids alike would be terrifying - but it was probably the best bonding experience I'd ever had. Something about the hue of the lights, the pounding bass. No one was trying to feel you up or buy you a drink, everyone was just there for the music.

 It was the best high of my life. What was even more euphoric was walking downtown in the chilled May air with my friends afterwards. Walking outside by the loner smokers, hugging old high school friends, catching the bus back - still buzzing. 

Then there was work, and all that comes with work. Meeting and befriending people you probably wouldn't have, watching how people react with each other, having the coworker bond of hatred against horrible customers whilst working retail, and really appreciating smoke/lunch breaks. It made me realize how good I have it, being able to have an education when I worked along people who deserved it way more but had to make a living instead. 

(DV stills)

Then fall. Fall 2013 was great. It was the first time that I felt like I belonged somewhere in a long time. I met up with old friends, made some new ones through activism, and generally had awesome weekends. I didn't act like my usual myself and I liked it. 

Then there were the random friends: the girl who was in my dorm last year.  We ended up getting late night coffee and talked about existentialism and how we have no idea what we are doing in school. It was the deepest conversation I've had to this date. 

There was the troublemaker in my French class who the teacher disliked (more than me, I might add). We bonded over our failures in the education system. She is like an older sister to me, but more crass. She's loud, not always P.C., and has the attention span of a goldfish. Yet, she is the most fiercely loyal person I've ever encountered and can go from making you laugh hysterically to making you spill your guts  in order to sort your shit out. 

I started making short films again, Mini DV/VHS/collage stuff. I used to detest everything I made in art - even the stuff that won awards, but this time it all just flowed out for some reason. I realized how important it is to have access to resources and technology  - and how comforting it can be to have them (shout out to Adobe and really nice Mac computers). 

Wrapping it up, I came in contact with someone who was really fresh. They had a passion like mine and seemed to have their life somewhat figured out, which let me breathe a little easier. They seemed driven and focused, but also childlike.  CHILDLIKE. I really admired that, I didn't think people could still have that when they "grew up". 

I admit - I can be really cynical of my own future. The economy, my barely-making-money "profession" path, my own issues - they all seem to hinder me from progressing. I was scared that I wouldn't be able to get through it all. To be honest, I still am.

But by just being in contact with this person I learned that everyone doesn't have it completely figured out, but making things work is do-able. Having the urgency to find yourself as soon as possible, make it big, get rid of all your debt - is keeping you paralyzed from actually living and creating things. 

This person made me feel like it'd all be okay, and I don't think they know that. 

So, cheers to 2013 - a turning point. 

Hopefully you all had a nice time this year, and if you didn't, I hope you keep optimism in you for this upcoming year.  My constant existential battle with human interaction proved fruitful this time around, even with the friendships I'd lost - the boys too. I would be lying if I said I didn't have major lows - they came and passed, but I wouldn't change a thing. 

You'd be amazed at how quickly you can change, or how quickly your environment can change. You have to be open to it. It's scary, but it's great.

Never be stagnant.

Lauren Rose

Curbside Fashion 

Film Muse: To Die For (1995)

Once again, hello Curbside readers!

As promised, I'm going to share a Film Muse with you today starring Nicole Kidman and Joaquin Phoenix in Gus Van Sant's To Die For (1995). For some reason, this film never gets old. I remember seeing it as a kid and sympathizing with Joaquin's character (a no-good punk who falls for the local weather woman which he then helps murder her husband), yet I must say I also felt oddly empowered by Suzanne's (Kidman) "go-get-'em" power driven attitude. Perhaps I just have a soft spot for the career oriented '90s working woman (shout out to my mom). 

Aside from the brilliant acting in this dark comedy, I also have to give props to the costume designer.  Some of the stills that I have chosen almost remind me of Tim Burton's constructed neighborhood in  Edward Scissorhands.  Suzanne's world is perfectly pedicured and is the epitome of the word "clean". Suzanne sticks to modest pastels of periwinkle, robin's egg blue, and lemonade pink. She rocks checkered print in multiple mediums, yet still manages to ooze dangerous sex appeal. I literally want to time warp it back to the '90s and have a picnic wearing her wardrobe. What a dream. 

Then we have the punks (que Joaquin). I loved how they contrasted Suzanne in every way possible - messy hair, converse, the classic T-shirt over a long sleeve shirt outfit, etc. I had this massive soft spot for Lydia, the grungy tomboy teen who Suzanne chooses to mentor and befriend (with ulterior motives, of course). I'm pretty sure this was the actress's first film, and you can really see the venerability in her character without it being totally melodramatic.  

I could go on and on about Joaquin, but I'll spare you this time. However, one thing I noticed is that his character oddly reminds me of Simon from E4's Misfits. The way he talks/mumbles, that stupidly hot stare that he does, even his mannerisms remind me of the early and awkward Simon. If you're a Misfits fan, definitely look out for it. I swear I'm not crazy. 

     (one of my favorites of Suzanne's outfits. A cashmere looking sweet pea colored sweater, with fitted     high waisted (hell yeah) grey checkered pants. ) 

Lastly, I really enjoyed Suzanne's sister-in-law, Janice. Being a spunky Italian/figure skater, Janice perfectly brings the macabre humor that the movie needed (the last scene, shown above). For some reason, her frilly skating outfits just make everything ten times more hilarious once you get to know her character. 

It's a great movie, so if you haven't seen it - definitely get on it! I hope you enjoyed this Film Muse post. I will be doing more outfit of the days in future posts as they were requested.

Sayonara!

-Lauren Rose

Curbside Fashion 

Film Muse: L'Enfer (1964)

Hello Curbside readers!

As college is coming to an end, I have finally gotten around to making a post about one of my newest film finds: L'Enfer (1964) by the French director Henri-Georges Clouzot. The beauty is that this actually isn't a feature length film. Story goes that Clouzot got an unlimited budget to make the film (which was creatively daunting), and due to many complications - never finished the film.  It's sort of a shame because the cinematography and lighting work were both insanely well done. You can see bits of the film in a documentary by Serge Bromberg if you look hard enough.

There are so many aesthetic appeals in the film that I subscribed to. Light movements of psychedelic reds, greens, and blues juxtaposed by scenes of soft '60s pastels reflecting the film grain. Lacy demure night slips versus lustrous translucent coats. Blue lips (a coloring trick) accompanied by classic '60s power hour eyeliner. The list goes on. 

I think sometimes we forget about lighting and colors within our own wardrobes. For example, the possibility of creating illusions (shout out to the holographic trend, '90s glitter fair hair, etc). I think the film really sparks the core appeal of fashion: aesthetics. It leaves the audience in aw by showing the possibilities of beauty within living. Even though the film wasn't completed, passion within the visual images still remain. It challenges me to bring the same intensity into my own perspective of the world and my wardrobe.

That's it I suppose. If anything, take it as eye candy. Wish I could have written more about it, but this is just the type of thing you have to vibe with on your own.

See you in the summer,

Lauren Rose

Curbside Fashion

(p.s. - for your visual pleasure: )

Film Muse: "3 Women" (1977)

Film Muse: "3 Women" (dir. Robert Altman)

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Hey guys. Another Film Muse post but this time we are bringing it back to the '70s with Sissy Spacek and Shelley Duvall in the film "3 Women" directed by Robert Altman. The first time I watched this movie I fell asleep (I was really tired), but the second time I was actually conscious and I really enjoyed it.  

If you haven't seen the film, its basically about a bonked out girl (Spacek) who ends up working in a nursing home and befriends her future roommate (Duvall). The film voyeurs into their odd friendship in a tight knit small town.   The whole movie has this eerie soundtrack that doesn't seem to be placed in correctly until you realize that Sissy Spacek is in the movie so some fucked up shit will probably happen in the near future.  

I'd like to give a shout out to the person who did the styling for the film.  Duvall's character always wears the cutest southern bell meets 70s-newlywed-hot-housewife outfits. I loved her yellow outfit and how the pieces were meant to be warn as a set. Why don't we do that now? Ahh, right - Cosmo would call it too "matchy-matchy".  I also wanted to mention the twins that probably shared one line. Their matching walk, outfits, hair, DRINKS, just added to the eeriness of the town. And of course, Spacek's modest pastel pinks and long braids perfectly describes her character- the younger sister type that would probably steal your clothes once you went to school.  Also, I have to say I'm really vibing the '70s hair. Amazing. 

Overall, from an aesthetic point I really liked this film.  The colors, the closeups, and the setting made everything work so well. The story can draw long for us 21st century viewers, but stick around for the movie - if anything for at least the styling. 

Anyways, thats it.

Much love,

Lauren Rose

Curbside Fashion