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18.3.13

I'm Still Here - Joaquin Style

(Me wearing my Nature Valley headband which I get mocked for MERCILESSLY everyday)

Hello! 
After I made my hiatus video on JustACurbsideProphet, I've been thinking a lot. Actually, my brain is almost as fried as the college sorority girls' bodies who happen to be kickin' it in the Keys over Spring Break
(no hard feelings tho tbh).

 Anyhoozle, I've come down to three things that I'm working on currently:

Human Interaction (see last post)
Redefining Confidence
Making plans and actually fulfilling them

    1. As for human interaction, things are looking up. I've made more friends, and made peace with others. I still have yet to talk to my dream guy who lives my dorm. He resembles an ungodly mix of Michael Pitt and Andrew Vanwyngarden, but hey - baby steps (we make eye contact a lot). 

2. Redefining confidence is a new concept for me.  You always hear people telling you to "just be confident", even those within the beauty/ fashion community. I don't think half of them even know what they are saying. It's become such a cliche that even I don't know what it actually feels like anymore.  But what does it even mean? What does it feel like to be confident? Is the key to ultimate happiness purely confidence? Can you really learn how to become that way or will that self doubt always linger? It's more about psychology than anything really.  I'm trying to find those revelations that can change the way you think... it's just been a little harder than I imagined.

   3.  Lastly, the third point is making plans and actually fulfilling them. For those who don't know me in real life, I can be a flake sometimes.  When I don't feel comfortable, or when I plan incorrectly, I kind of fall off the face of the earth and I don't like when that happens.  But this isn't just a social issue, I'm beginning to make plans for future projects, summer classes, jobs, and adult stuff. Blerg.

(Trees on trees on trees)
(Blueberry pancakes get at me)
(Lake Superior)

    So I'm currently Up North with limited internet wifi, thinking intensely about these three things. There's also this crazy thrift store down the road from me which I intend on rummaging through tomorrow, so expect a Youtube video on it if I find anything. That's something I've been into recently- absurd and quirky thrift shops like the one in The Doom Generation by Gregg Araki. I plan on going ham when I get back to the Twin Cities and hitting up all of the vintage shops when I still have the foggy illusion that I can afford the things I'll by. 
(Rose McGowan in the Doom Generation (1995) by Gregg Araki. You should really see it. )

   But as always, I love you guys and I want to thank you for sticking around on all of my websites! If you don't see a video from me soon, just remember that I'm still going through those 3 bullet points. 

Much love.
Lauren Rose
Curbside Fashion

6 comments:

  1. I do that dissapearing off the face of the earth thing too haha the worst part is that i hate it while I'm doing it but still continue to not answer my phone and talk to no one. It's weird.

    Anyways, good luck with neighbor guy. I'm rooting for you as is everyone else I'm sure <3

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    1. Thanks for your comment Anon! I'm going to need all the luck I can get.
      -Lauren Rose

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  2. lol at the trees on trees on trees and those blueberry pancakes need to hmu. Ooooh '"Andrew Pitt" sounds dreamy i hope you guys get to talk soon. You really inspired me to talk to more people and make more friends, danke! I am a huuuge procrastinator to the xtreme i really need to work on that (after i write this and watch the mindy project or bob's burgers im totally going back to work) lol. Its so weird getting into this adult world and being responsible when i feel like im still so young but i try to tell my self "A year from now you'd wish you'd start today" and that "consistency is key". I enjoy watching your thrift hauls and hope you make another one soon. I don't know what confidence is either but i try to "fake it till i make it", smile, and be myself... :/ idk maybe as i develop and grow older I'll find out. xoxo

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    1. Thanks for your comment! I know exactly what you mean with procrastination... in fact - I'm sort of doing that right now.

      "Andrew Pitt" omg yes. Hopefully I'll get a thrift haul up soon!

      -Lauren Rose

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  3. I think it is possible to be confidence most of the time. i think it comes down to being comfortable with yourself and "finding yourself". that might be changing what you don't like, learning how to love what you don't like and probably a lot of other stuff but it is a process with lots of doubt and some pain. self doubt is pretty much ingrained to women in western society but if we can find ways to take care of ourselves in those doubtful moments then i think we can make it overall. i'm still trying to become comfortable with myself. trying to break out of my shell but pretty much failing every day but that's my stuff. you seem to be doing pretty well so that's great.

    i love that you are still posting. i get so excited when i see your blog posts in my feed or your videos on my youtube homepage.

    http://in-ternal.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. I definitely agree with you in terms of becoming comfortable with yourself. I think the reason why I've gained confidence recently is by exposing myself to new and uncomfortable situations. Once you go through those experiences, everything gets a little easier - which in return makes you more confident.

      Thanks for your comment and support!
      -Lauren Rose

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